Wednesday, May 23, 2007

A Moment of Clarity in a Lifetime of Confusion

How often does it seem that our lives are not defined by words like “happy,” “fulfilled,” “joyful,” or “peaceful”? No. That almost never happens—at least in my life. Instead our lives are defined by words like “stressful,” “anxious,” “dramatic,” and “confused.” I am finding this more and more the case the older I get.

I must admit to be going through one of those times. You know. Those times. I have a million things to do. I have confusion in relationships of all sorts. And, as if there was nothing else to consume me, I am taking 13 grad hours this semester! This is midterm week, and I am emotionally, physically, and spiritually drained.

And all I can think about is getting all of these situations taken care of. All I can think about is something I have going on. And all I have wanted is peace. Peace in these situations. I want clarity. I want resolution.

And then I heard a song that changed it all for me last night. This song hit me. Hard. Here is the chorus. I think it speaks for itself.

“All the Heavens cannot hold you, Lord.

How much less to dwell in me?

I can only make my one desire holding on to Thee.”

—Third Day, All the Heavens

This is my prayer. It is all I have:

Lord, forgive.

Have mercy on me for I have sinned in your eyes.

You have given me the most glorious of all possible gifts—your own presence in my life and body.

And I have forgotten it.

I have desired other things.

Forgive, father.

Help me to find my peace only in you. To look nowhere else. To see your love in me.

Take not your Holy Spirit from me.

Restore unto me the joy of your salvation,

And renew a right spirit within me.

Te quiero mi Rey, Amen.

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